As some of you might know, some of my material was lifted (uh stolen) off of this very blog and used by some folks on the TV who thought I wouldn’t notice.
(Guess they didn’t count on my lovely friends and fans out there who couldn’t wait to email, comment and even call askin’ me if I worked for the TV now. No, I don’t.)
Anyway, I had to take a mini break while me and ‘em clarified what had happened. (I’ll let you know how they do me. Trust.) That bein’ said, let’s move on to the news, ’cause I got so many questions about what I thought of Mr. O-soon-to-be-P’s 30 minute short the other night, among other things, I been ’bout to burst. I couldn’t wait to express myself.
So…
Recently, I popped down to my native NC to check things out on the political scene, and was shocked to my foundation! Honey, folks is runnin’ all kinds of crazy ads and nasty little smear campaigns the likes of which you would not believe. I even saw an ad actually accusin’ one o’ the ladies goin’ for the Gov. seat of not believein’ in God! It’s dirty down here, don’t ya know, bloodsport. And just as racist as it can be. I tell ya I half expected to see Gene Hackman and Willem Dafoe comin’ round the bend to investigate a la “Mississippi Burning.” (Yes, I know it ain’t ole Miss, but you get the picture.)
Anyway…
Seems to me they need to take a better look at who they’s supposed to be talkin’ to. (And yes, that means us brown and latino folk too!) Or better yet, just cancel about all of ‘em ads for good and be done. Why?
‘Cause southern folk are very into manners. You know, like as in southern hospitality? Meaning, insultin’ or derogatory ads all the time can turn us off but quick. And we don’t take too kindly at bein’ messed with right before we’re gettin’ suited up to be showcased on the worldwide political stage. It’s tacky, chile! Ew, when we look back at all of the mudslingin’, it’s gonna be somethin’. I had to pull out my boots!
Meanwhile…
Mr. O-soon-to-be-P trumped all the darkness with his “expecto petronem” (Harry Potter fans?) type ad that knocked all o’ those ghosts and goblins back to under the rocks from which they came. Say what you want, but he showed out! And JMac was so swole up he looked like he might push his little broke arm up to the sky and cry, “Why, Lord, why?!” I was as interested in the after talk as much as the ad itself, ’cause I knew they was gonna speculate all about if he was bein’ a fancy pants or a piece of high falutin hawaiian chicken.
Mr. O-soon-to-be-P is def in a class all by himself, y’all. Down here we call it smellin’ yo-self strong. Up there in NYC ya’ll prob break it off as Moxy. Hell, globally, let’s just say the brotha’s got balls. (Ew wee Caramel. Go on!)
Anyway, I leave you with all o’ this…
There’s a sayin’ in the bizness: THE STAR SETS THE TONE.
And it’s true.
They can set it by what they wear, by what they say, and by what they do. The mood, the vibe, the emotion on a set is directly related to them. If they’re a nasty piece of business, honey, you’ll have an awful behind the scenes. If they’re a saint, you’ll hate to go home at the end of the day.
Truly great stars set it by takin’ the light that’s on them and shinin’ it on others, creatin’ a team.
Truly great leaders set it by takin’ the light that’s on them and shinin’ it on the truth, creatin’ a stronger unified country.
Truly great asses set it by takin’ the light that’s on them and whinin’ about how dim their wattage is compared to everyone elses, creatin’ a black hole.
After seeing damn near a million ads, signs, shenanigans, and such, callin’ folk socialists (I got news for y’all, you might want to check out some of Bush’s handy-work, then look up the definition of that word), callin’ folks Anti-American, Inexperienced, Terrorists (like the scary stuff in the ad don’t count as terrorism!) and even Ugly (Especially the NC ads. Whew! Elizabeth Dole, you oughta be ashamed of your none even visitin’, livin’ or bein’ in NC self. You need to pray, girl!), I have to say…
We the people are some of us homeless, near penniless, frightened and angry, and the last thing we need is to turn on the TV and listen to the negative nasty nits of all of you whiny snits! (Dr. Suess anyone?)
Huh, what you mean, Caramel?…
We ain’t dummies! No matter who wins on November 4th, we know they’ll be a new hire, chile. JMac has no experience at being the President and neither does Mr. O-soon-to-be-P, ok? So quit trippin’! The only way we can know who will be the best for the job is by doing what they been doin’ forever to hire folks. Look at their resume, education, appearance, character, family/home life, and any skills that apply to the position.
…Then run a background check. (Ha!)
After that, and most importantly, if they have some manners, then they can come to work! Period. Is that so hard?
Ya’ll may be laughin’ at ole Caramel, thinkin’ she don’t realize the big P’s job calls for much more than that, but I beg to differ. You watch what I tell ya. Manners are gonna be the ball game for the next big P sittin’ up in the White House. You can catch a lot more flies with sugar than vinegar, chile.
It can mean the difference between office harmony or a very expensive, out ‘n out war.
Meanin’…
If you ain’t got nothin’ nice to say, then shut the hell up!
And remember…
The Revolution will be Caramelized.
Peace, y’all.
