Carolina Blue – The Cantankerations

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Chile, I’ve tried to express the depth and intensity of what I’ve been feelin’ since that magical Tuesday night, but I’m stumped, you hear me, stumped.  How could I ever write how amazin’ it is, was, is..?  See what I mean?  Still, here’s my little swing:

IT’S OVER by Caramel Jones

Tuesday night:

I lost weight I let go of so much.  I gained hope.  I felt courageous and limitless and well…free.  I was-

(Wait a minute…  What is takin’ NC so long to report?  Hmmm…)

Wednesday:

I’m walking on air.

I’m dancin’ in the streets.

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!  Zip-a-dee-ay!  My oh my oh what a beautiful day!  Plenty of sunshine comin’ my way!  Zip-a-dee-….

(Uh, why is NC still gray?  What in the…?!  What is the problem, people?  Well, at least my man won already.  Oh, what difference does it make now anyw…  Damn!  Come on NC!)

Thursday:

Who cares about these meanies in NC who all swole up ’cause they good ole boy network done been obliterated.  I was in the mood again.

I was erasin’ the “im” from impossible.

Shoutin’ it from the rooftops.

Smellin’ myself strong!  Feelin’ good!

(Uuuggghhh!  Dogone it!  Still no new NC stats.  Ain’t this a blip?!  Ok, ok, you know what, it’s mornin, probably by this evenin’…  Yeah, it’s all good, I just need some coffee.  Stay cool!)

Wasn’t long before I was hummin’ again.

“Everything’s goin’ my wayyyy!”

HONK!  HONK! HONKETY HOOONNNKKK!!!!!

Lawd have mercy, what is goin’ on!

I was comin’ outta the Starbucks drive thru, (Yeah chile, folks drive thru for they coffee down here, and just as nice as can be.)  when this old crab apple, and obvious JMac supporter (stickers where plastered all over his hunk o’ junk!) banged on his horn so loud, it nearly cracked my windshield.  Seems I just wasn’t movin’ back into traffic fast enough for the old coot.  He finally got around me, flew past and then…screamed an obscenity out his window!!

So…I followed the dummy!

Yeah, that’s right.  I did it.  I wanted to be the first to remind him that:  “IT’S OVER, BABY.  Your racist, hatred spreadin’, bigoted, good ole boy empire is gone.  Obsolete, you hear?!  You’re KKK-Knocked out!”

(Ew chile, I was feelin’ it!  ‘Cause I’m gettin’ right tired of the long faces, nasty attitudes and dark clothin’ these crazy Reps is sportin’ down here.  It’s ridiculous!  And just in case you thinkin’ Caramel is bein’ unfair and are ’bout to pitch a ninny, slow your roll, ok?, Unless you grew up a mixed breed down here in NC or anywhere south of the Mason-D line, I have to say you might not be able to get this piece this time.  Y’all just don’t know!  It’s been a long, long, long time comin’.)

Anyway…

I just pressed the gas and pulled up close enough behind him so he could see I was writin’ down his license plate. (Not that it means anything to do that, but I was bettin’ he didn’t know.) I pointed to my eyes then back at him, “I see you, you little road ragin’ Rep!”  Chile, his eyes got so big, you could see his eye color in his rear view.  (It called to mind that scene in THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT, when Sidney Poitier slapped that white man and the po didn’t arrest him!)  Anyway, when the light turned green, I know he got a speedin’ ticket once the law caught him up the road, ’cause he stunk up the pavement burnin’ tire rubber.

Who says you can’t have fun while you’re drivin’?!

Chile, I just laughed and laughed and talked about it out loud: “People better recognize.  Better unite, and quit trippin’, ’cause play time over.  You hear me?!  The Death Star has been destroyed, ok?  Go ahead and give the man the rest of his electoral votes!”

Then I launched into a smashin’ rendition of that famous negro spiritual:  “Too Much Too Little Too Late…” (Y’all know that one?)

I couldn’t stop singin’ it.  And I kept singin’ it for the rest of the day.  And you know what.  I think it helps ‘em understand and accept the change.  How do I know?  ‘Cause as I was vocalizin’ it all ’round town, many good folks would smile at me (shoot, they mighta thought I was crazy and didn’t wanna set me off.  Ha!) and many o’ my folks would nod.  Sho you know!  But my favorite so far was a small Mexican woman who got it immediately and joined in in Spanish.  She even added a little dance step that looked strangely like a karate chop followed by a swift kick in the rubber parts.  Hmmm.  (Worked it out, she did!)

So, here it is, a refresher for those tryin’ to recollect. A little song to help those among us who are havin’ trouble acceptin’ thangs, transition into a place of acceptance.  (That means you too G W Bushy!  I got my good eye on ya.)

And for those that’s keepin’ count like usun’s down here, NC came out BLUE!  Yeah…CAROLINA BLUE.

Remember…

The Revolution Will Be Caramelized.

Peace, y’all.

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Filed under Caramel Jones, Democratic, Entertainment, Political, Political Satire, Presidential, USA, Un-PC, african american, americans, angela forrest, apples, black woman, caramelized, electoral votes, gay and lesbian, haters, humor, north carolina, obama, patriotic, revolution, satire, vote, white people

Tags: angela forrest, blue state, carolina blue, electoral votes, good ole boy, it's over, kkk, north carolina, prejudice, president obama, president-elect obama, republican, too much too little too late, vote count, votes