Greatness, back in the day, was something to aspire to, or perhaps even something you were born with. No one knew for sure. Most people would just watch in awe as several key events and components came together in a mystical way, and in doing so, form a more perfect union. And a true leader who’d wear the mantle with such grace that the country could do nothing but yield to their wondrous power.
Greatness today…is achieved through marketing . Especially when you talkin’ politicians. Oh yeah…and preachers too.
Uh oh, now look at what I did. I just married you ‘fore I even popped the question. Best to back up a bit.
See, it all started with a shoe.
No, not like Cinderella tryin’ to fit in one, an old woman livin’ in one, or even the angry Iraqi man who threw one. (Is it me or did anyone else happen to notice that no one caught that joka in time or jumped too quickly to wrestle the shoe-r to the floor?) In that fairy tale, he was able to throw both of his shoes, not just lucky to fire off one of ‘em.
In this fairy tale…hmmm…I’m still doin’ it all wrong. I know. Let’s try this:
Once upon a time- Yeah, that’s better.
Once upon a time, the world was in quite a state. There had been a long war and misery and strife among the people in the land. The constant draining of their resources and their need to have a lot of stuff had gotten them into a lot of trouble. And their leader, President Shrub, was always cranky. See, he didn’t know what he was doing exactly and the only thing that outweighed his ignorance, was his vanity. So it was agreed by all that Shruby had to go, and soon!
Meanwhile, deep in the lower income part of the kingdom, way on the other side of the brier patch near the ocean, lived an unlikely hero, Eugene Pooft and Eugene was a very well known such and such. When folks needed help, he was always there to lend a hand. Why it was said that Eugene or “Genie” as he was nicknamed, woke up in the morning huntin’ for ways to do good. There was just one problem. Genie had a big appetite for House Music. Oh, he couldn’t get enough. And the biggest purveyor of his love was Maxy Boneventura, the baddest brotha in town. If Maxy was spinnin’ at the club, then Genie was twirlin’ on the dance floor. Sometimes people whispered things, but no one took much stock in it. Afterall, Genie was practically a real live angel on earth, who cared if he liked the stuff. He wasn’t hurting anybody, and plus, he never played it out loud in the streets. The party was always inside. As was the law of the land regarding the playing of House Music.
Now, along that time, Genie had a good friend named Ollie Icon, and Ollie was so charismatic, that he once almost convinced the Mayor to actually build a special highway for animals. They’d nearly brought all of the supplies when the Mayor fell out of Ollie’s trance and canceled. Still, it had been very close. Supposedly even some tar was laid and pictures was took, but no one ever saw any proof, so eventually, the rumors died and along with them, so did the Mayor.
Ollie won his spot by a landslide.
Afterall, Genie was his campaign manager. And Genie knew everybody.
He had single-handedly turned the tide for Ollie Icon. See, at first, some of the people in the land weren’t too sure about Ollie. He was smart to be certain, and he was handsome and even wise, but he had never been a mayor before, so they were worried. Especially the colorful folk that resided in Genie’s part of town. But after Genie gave Ollie Icon a heartfelt introduction and Ollie followed with a rousing speech that addressed the residents worries and concerns, it was cake. They all knew they had their man and they were pleased.
Things soon fell into an easy rhythm after all of the tussle of the election and such died down. Mayor Ollie was good at his job, and most felt he had found his place in the world. He wore it all so well.
But deep in the core of the land, there was something simmering. See, Genie had thought that he might be a part of the new Mayor’s staff or at least be an adviser to his old friend, but alas, he was overlooked. Mayor Ollie assured him that the next go round, once the land had progressed a bit, he might be able to include Genie, but right now, well,…
‘Well, you see, Genie, uh, most decent people simply don’t listen to House Music out loud. They don’t think it’s…right.’, he said.
Genie was astonished. “Do you feel that way, Ollie?”
‘Of course not, Genie. I like your music…uh, well, I mean at a low volume.’
“Low volume? But I thought…in your speech you said-?”
‘I’m the Mayor now, Genie, and I have to make sure that certain things are in place for everyone before we can allow you to just play House Music out in the open like that. You understand, don’t you?’, said Mayor Ollie.
“No. How else are we suppose to listen to it? We don’t sing it out in the streets anymore. And we’ve only been allowed to play it at home or in clubs. In secret. Some of us even have to wear headphones for fear someone will hear and object.”
‘Headphones! That’s it!’, cried Mayor Ollie.
“Huh? I don’t understand.” Genie almost whispered, he was so broken-hearted.
‘See, if you listen to it that way all of the time, you can still hear your music, but not disturb anyone else.’, decided the Mayor. ‘I’m glad we had this talk, Genie.’
“But wait…!”, Genie ran after him pleading. It was too late, Mayor Ollie had already made up his mind, popped into his car, and driven away.
And that was that. At least it was to Mayor Ollie. But for Genie, things were just getting started. After Genie had sobbed on Maxy’s shoulder for two solid days, Maxy finally had to put his foot down and demand that Genie pull himself together.
“I’ll throw us a party, Genie, like no other. And we’ll invite everybody who is anybody and before you know it, you’ll be your old self again.”
So they did.
Oh, Maxy put on quite a bash. The place was packed. And sure enough, once the beat went through him, Genie was on the floor twirling and twirling until Mayor Ollie was just a distant memory. “Ollie won’t make us wear headphones. How silly. He’s my friend. He’s smarter than that.”, Genie thought to himself. “He’ll probably end up changing everyone else’s mind about us. He’s so charming and wise. I don’t know what I was ever worried about.”
And with that, Genie’s heart was light and free. He danced all night and had the time of his life.
The morning came, and with it, a very darkly cloudy sky,…and a ton of noise. Why, there was so much chatter and twitter and rumblings outside his window, Genie nearly screamed at the birds, “What is going on, for heaven’s sake?!”
‘Mayor Ollie has…has…’, Birdy stuttered.
“What? Has he decreed we wear headphones?”
‘No.’, said Birdy. ‘He has asked Lucian RickRabbit to DJ at the Mayor’s Ball for his inauguration.’
“What?!!!”, shrieked Genie. “The ever-loving King of Disco?! It cannot be! He hates House Music!”
‘And us!’, squawked Birdy
“I just don’t under-”, said Genie interrupted by a knock at his door.
It was Maxy and Maxy was pissed. ‘That’s it, man! We have to organize! I will not play House Music in secret!”
“I don’t know, Maxy, I’m sure Ollie would never-”
‘Wake up, Genie! He’s sold us out. Lucian RickRabbit is bad news. He thinks House Music comes from the gutter. What do you want to do?’
Genie froze. Ollie was his best friend. He just couldn’t believe that something like this could happen. It was so heart-breaking. So, Genie sat down and cried and cried and cried, until…
Maxy handed him a nice new pair of government issue House Music Headphones…
And that woke him right on up.
(STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT GRIPPING CHAPTER OF:
Obama Lamely Ducks: A Fairy Tale)
And Remember…
The Revolution Will Be Caramelized.
Peace, y’all.
1 Comment
December 22, 2008 at 7:52 pm
“Not everybody understands house music-it’s a body thing, a soul thing”
“House defines freedom and freedom defines House!”
peace out RC